Last week, a parent said something I hear all the time: “I just want to do right by my kids. I’ll figure out retirement later.”
It was said with love, because college isn’t just a financial decision. It’s emotional. It’s tied to hope, pride, and the fear of letting your kids down.
Many parents make tradeoffs that seem small in the moment but have a big impact on their later financial freedom. Pausing retirement contributions “just for a few years.” Pulling from an IRA or taking a 401(k) loan. Borrowing from home equity.
Parents promise themselves they’ll catch up later. The tuition bill is due now, and retirement feels far away.
But the truth is that today’s college funding decisions shape your future independence.
Before you commit to paying for college
Fast‑forward 15 or 20 years. Your kids are grown, building their own lives. You’re in your 60s. You still have financial stress. It just shifted to a season where you naturally have less energy, less time, and probably fewer options.
Before you lay all your money on the line for your kids' college education, a simple reframe may help. The question shouldn’t be “How much can I give?” It’s “What level of support can I offer without putting my own future at risk?”
Your kids have many options. Scholarships. In‑state schools and community college. Work‑study and part‑time jobs. Reasonable loans.
You, on the other hand, are on a timeline. The precious few years you have left to save and invest matter more than most people realize.
My story & some numbers
My parents couldn't put much toward my college education, but they ensured I got a solid K-12 education and supported my mediocre extracurricular efforts. This was critical to decent test scores, grades, and a respectable high school "resume," and I appreciate their efforts more with each passing day. All that translated into modest financial support from the university. I also stayed on my parents' health and vehicle insurance throughout college.
Let's walk through my numbers (inflated to 2026 dollars) to see how you, as a parent, might feel about them. This is an exercise I've never actually done with my own college costs, but I hope it will encourage you that, with reasonable decisions, your future college student will probably be fine.
Full-price tuition and expenses for 4 years at my alma mater, the University of Texas at Austin, are now estimated at $130,000 for a Texas resident living off-campus.
I funded college with a combination of savings, work, loans, grants, scholarships, and credit card debt.
My approximate numbers follow (in 2026 dollars):
Earnings from work while in school: $60,000
Student loans: $36,000
Credit card debt: $2,800
Personal savings going into college: $4,000
This totals $102,000, meaning the balance of $28,000 (or $15,000 back then) was supplied by scholarships, gifts, grants, side hustles, and living below the average cost of attendance (which I very much tried to). I also took some CLEP tests and a few classes at the local community college to speed progress and lower costs.
I could have worked more, but chose not to work my final semester so I could take more hours and get finished. Finishing in less time is very important to saving money. We can tell our kids this all day long, but I really felt it back then!
At $38,800, the amount of debt I finished with is just a bit higher than today's national average. Unfortunately for current borrowers, interest rates--therefore the payments--tend to be higher.
In short, I think if you have a situation where your child can graduate with only a modest amount of debt--as opposed to you sacrificing retirement savings to help them graduate debt-free--then loans might be a reasonable alternative.
Like most graduates, I didn't make a lot of money right out of college, but I didn't have very many other bills, so the loans weren't too much of a burden.
How to help depends on your unique situation
Keep in mind that a financially independent parent in retirement is a gift to their children. Prioritizing retirement if you have to choose demonstrates boundaries and will hopefully foster among your children a bit of resourcefulness, hustle, and gratitude for their education.
It's normal to wonder if you’re doing enough, as well as to worry that your kids will feel disappointed. In sharing my story, I hope you see that your kids will probably be okay even if they have some debt at the end of a fruitful college experience.
The goal is to build a family plan you can live with for years to come. One where your kids have support and guidance, and you keep your own future confident. No one should silently sacrifice stability.
This isn't selfish. It’s wise. And it’s what building a plan for real life actually looks like.
Content in this material is for general information only and not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual.